He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
