He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
