the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
