Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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