i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
