White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
