So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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