Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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