you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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