Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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