I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
