So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
