Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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