Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
