In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
