Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
