I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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