My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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