it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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