Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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