Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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