i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
