It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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