Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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