i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
