mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
