dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
