Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize