I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
