RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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