Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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