take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
