The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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