grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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