My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
