Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
