You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
