Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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