happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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