Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
