We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
