in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
