My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize