quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
even my farts smell like vagina
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
