Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
