It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
