I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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