In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize