She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
