every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You're like the curious george of whores
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
