oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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