Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
