she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
