It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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