I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
