Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
