I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
