Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
