he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
