Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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