all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Shame - the story of my life.
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