Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
