A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Randomize