I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
