I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
